“Not My Child” The Myth Leaving Teens Open to Sextortion
Parents often tell themselves “not my child” when they hear about online harms. That belief creates a serious vulnerability. New data from the Internet Watch Foundation shows record numbers of UK under-18s contacting the Report Remove helpline after facing sextortion. By the end of June 2026, analysts had confirmed 462 such reports involving child sexual abuse imagery. That total already exceeds the entire 2025 figure of 394 by 17 percent. Of those 462 cases, 441, 95 percent involved boys exclusively.
The trajectory is clear. Report Remove received 19 sextortion-related reports in 2022. The figure rose to 164 in 2023, dipped slightly to 151 in 2024, then jumped to 394 in 2025. Six months of 2026 have already surpassed the previous full year. These numbers capture only cases that reached the helpline. The true scale is higher.
What the Irish Statistics Show
In Ireland, Hotline.ie has also recorded a steady rise in reports of intimate image abuse—the non-consensual sharing of sexual images or videos. Figures rose from roughly 700 reports in 2022 – 2023, to 862 in 2025, making it the second-largest category of illegal content handled by the hotline after child sexual abuse material.
Like the UK sextortion data, these cases often involve images that the person created themselves under pressure or that were later shared without consent. The “not my child” assumption is equally unsafe here: the reports come from across age groups, including teenagers, and removal rates remain high once material is reported. Parents who treat every device and conversation as a potential route for such imagery are better placed to act early.
How Criminals Obtain the Imagery
Criminals try to extort or blackmail their victims by threatening to publish nude or sexual imagery of them online unless money is paid or other demands are met. According to IWF analysts, a large share of the imagery used to coerce under-18s has been taken by the young person themselves. This usually happens on a phone or other camera enabled device in response to coercion or trickery from someone online.
The accompanying threats and intimidation can be extreme. Young people have been driven to take their own lives as a result. Offenders often threaten to expose the images to friends and followers to force a fast payment. Because the image is self-generated under pressure, many parents still assume their own child would never create it. The data shows that assumption is unsafe.
Why the Not My Child Belief Creates a Gap
Many parents assume their son or daughter would never take or send an intimate image. They believe strong family values or open talks at home provide enough protection. Yet the imagery in the majority of these cases was created by the young person under coercion or trickery. Offenders cast a wide net across gaming platforms, social media and messaging apps. They do not need prior knowledge of a specific family. A single conversation that feels flattering or urgent can be enough.
This is why the “not my child” response is so dangerous. It delays practical steps that reduce opportunity. Kerry Smith, Chief Executive of the Internet Watch Foundation, said on-device controls on children’s devices which would block the sending or receiving of nude imagery could have a huge impact stopping criminals from obtaining compromising imagery in the first place. Until those tools are mandatory, parents can still reduce risk through existing settings. Review camera and messaging permissions on phones. Keep devices out of bedrooms overnight. Use the practical safety settings and family guidance in our resources for parents to limit who can contact a teenager.
Government and Expert Calls for Device Protections
In September, Rt Hon Lisa Nandy MP, Secretary of State for Digital, told the Commons the Government is working with haste and collaborating with Google and Apple to make this happen. She said legislation would be brought forward to require major tech platforms to build in device-level protections for children and for apps that children use to prevent them from accessing or sharing nudity.
Ms Smith welcomed the commitment but urged Government to move swiftly. “These figures show the horrors facing young people online are not going away,” she said. “They show a consistently worsening picture – and a trajectory which, if it continues, will only wreak more havoc, hurt, and harm on young lives. Behind each one of those reports is a desperate child or young person. Behind each child and young person is a family. And these numbers are only the tip of the iceberg.”
Rani Govender, Head of Child Safety Online at the NSPCC, added that when a young person is sexually extorted it can be devastating for them and their families. She stated there is no excuse for inaction and that tech companies must now use the resources at their fingertips. The IWF also notes that the Prime Minister’s new Vision for Young People, which aims to improve experiences with mental health, education and employment, must also address problems young people are facing online such as the rising threat of sexual extortion.
Talking and Seeking Help Without Blame
Talk specifically about pressure to send images, even from someone who claims to be the same age. Explain that criminals often pose as peers and that once an image is sent, control is lost. Make it clear that help is available without blame. In Ireland, Hotline.ie, Childline and An Garda Síochána offer routes for support and reporting.
In the UK, under-18s can use the Report Remove helpline to seek removal or blocking of imagery, including pre-emptively. Report Remove is a free, confidential service run by the IWF and Childline. It allows young people to self-report suspected nude or sexual imagery of themselves which has been shared or risks being shared. Imagery that meets the legal threshold can be blocked and removed, sometimes before it reaches the open web. Our useful helplines and support resources list further options for Irish families.
Broader family rules around device-free zones appear in our digital wellbeing for families guide. Regular conversations reduce the chance that a young person feels they must handle pressure alone.
Why the Not My Child Belief Misses Boys
The 95 percent figure for boys is not new, but the scale is. Offenders have refined scripts that play on male insecurity, gaming status or the fear of peers seeing a private image. Because many parents still associate sextortion mainly with girls, they may overlook warning signs in sons. A sudden request for money, secrecy around a new online contact or distress after late-night phone use can all be indicators. Early recognition matters because the window between the first image and the threat is often short. The FBI warning on online sexual exploitation of young boys highlighted this pattern years ago. Cases such as the Alexander McCartney exploitation case show how quickly delayed recognition can escalate.
Practical Steps That Close the Not My Child Gap
Start with the devices your child actually uses. Enable parental controls that restrict app downloads and camera access. Review privacy settings on messaging and social apps so unknown contacts cannot message freely. Agree a simple rule: no intimate images of anyone, including themselves, and no response to pressure for them. Revisit the conversation after any news report or school talk.
If an image has already been shared under threat, do not delete evidence before seeking advice. Contact the appropriate helpline or police and use official removal tools where available. These steps do not require perfect technology. They require rejecting the idea that the risk applies only to other families. The IWF data shows the opposite. Record numbers of under-18s, overwhelmingly boys, are already facing this form of exploitation. Acting on that evidence narrows the vulnerability the “not my child” belief creates. Every day that passes without stronger device protections, criminals continue casting their nets wide.
References
- Internet Watch Foundation: Record number of UK under 18s facing ‘sextortion’ online as experts say no time to lose on nudity blockers for teens’ phones
- Report Remove helpline (IWF and Childline): Report Remove
Related Reading
- Resources for Parents: Online Safety Settings and Advice
- Digital Wellbeing for Families
- FBI warning on online sexual exploitation of young boys
- Useful Helplines & Support Resources
- Protecting Children Online: Lessons from the Alexander McCartney Case
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